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Random emails forwarded to us by Aunt Agnes. They're a waste of time, but they'll make you laugh. Did you get something crazy via email that made you spray your coffee all over your screen? Forward it to editor@lewisvilletexan.com, and stick "Aunt Agnes" in the subject line.
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Silly Obama

Emails from Aunt Agnes
Posted by AuntAgnes on 2013/4/25 18:50:00 (2003 reads)
Emails from Aunt Agnes

Our President has a sense of humor:
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To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

Emails from Aunt Agnes
Posted by AuntAgnes on 2011/5/29 3:38:07 (1545 reads)
Emails from Aunt Agnes

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars..... See if they slow down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something,
ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks .
Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Marijuana.

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Truths for Older Folks

Emails from Aunt Agnes
Posted by AuntAgnes on 2011/4/6 3:50:00 (1477 reads)
Emails from Aunt Agnes

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

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Man

Emails from Aunt Agnes
Posted by AuntAgnes on 2011/3/29 3:54:14 (1275 reads)
Emails from Aunt Agnes

Man

Man is a woman's best friend. He will reassure her when she feels insecure and comfort her after a bad day.

He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do; to live without fear and forget regret.

He will enable her to express her deepest emotions and give in to her most intimate desires.

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A Joke About Politicians We Don't Know From Cities We've Never Heard Of

Emails from Aunt Agnes
Posted by AuntAgnes on 2011/3/20 3:40:00 (1237 reads)
Emails from Aunt Agnes

It was election night, and all three had emerged victorious. Each of them had been reelected to the mayorship of their respective towns, and so they decided to do a bit of barhopping across all three cities (using public transportation whenever possible).

There was Tom O'Rabbit, mayor of the city of Agronomist's Brook. Then there was Scooter McVenison, mayor of the town of Scottish Hamlet. Finally, there was Keen Eckhart, mayor of the city of Coolisville. Finally, they decided to go to a bar in Coolisville.

It was a rather quiet bar, but the three men didn't mind too much. O'Rabbit and McVenison were having a grand old time, but nothing that you can blame them for. They bought beer after beer for everyone at the bar and were generally amiable. They even belted out tunes on the Karaoke machine, ending with a rousing rendition of "Bohemian Rhapsody". Eckhart kindly refused the invitation to sing along; his falsetto, he said, wouldn't quite measure up to theirs.

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